Dead Knight Walking
by oONekomataOo
Summary: Random Halloween fic written in honor of my favorite holiday. The Dragon Knights decide to build a Haunted House, now all they need is the perfect centerpiece...
1. Chapter 1

**Dead Knight Walking**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. Wah. How sad.

**Warnings**: Some OOCness and that's about it for this chappie

Neko: Halloween's my favorite holiday, so I wanted to do a fic with it. I might eventually do another Halloween fic with a different series, but I'm sticking with _DK_ for now.

Thatz: You sound much saner when you type stuff before two in the morning.

Neko: Quiet, you.

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**Chapter 1: Friday the 14th **

It was a relatively peaceful autumn day in the town of Draqueen, or at least as peaceful as a town housing both Kai-stern and Alfeegi under one roof after a long business trip could be. Despite the loud screams and crashes coming from the castle, the townspeople were enjoying the crisp October air and the frequent candy sales at several stores.

However there was one young man (besides the two bickering secretaries) that wasn't enjoying the nice atmosphere. He didn't bother to take a walk to enjoy the afternoon sun despite the invitation from some of his co-workers. He didn't even bother to head over to the marketplace to steal, er, secretly liberate some expensive candy. And of course he didn't even bat an eyelash when the source of the shouting within the Dragon Castle seemed to run right by his room. Then again, this was probably because he was still asleep.

It wasn't until an hour later, when sunlight streamed into the sleeping Dragon Knight's eyes that he stirred.

"Mwah…I don't wanna ride the ferris wheel, Mommy. I'm allergic to chickens…" mumbled Thatz in a sleepy daze.

Finally he blinked himself into consciousness, and stretched out on his bed. Yawning, he walked over to his large window. The sun was up in the center of the sky.

"Okay," he grinned. "If the sun's that high, it must be almost noon—I'm just in time for lunch!"

Thatz quickly threw a jacket over his tank top and slacks, and headed towards the dining room. On his way, he passed the overly suspicious oak closet that seemed to shake, rattle, and whimper every time Kai-stern returned from a business trip. When they were younger, Rath had told him that it was haunted by the ghost of the previous Red Dragon Officer that Alfeegi had mercilessly whacked to death with his Mallet of Doom. Later on, Thatz had found the real cause.

"Hey, Ruwalk," Thatz whispered to the door. "Did Kai-stern come back today?"

"Pl, Please don't hurt me, Feegi!" squeaked the "ghost" behind the large door. "I swear I didn't give Kai-stern extra money this time! I promise!"

The "ghost" continued wailing amongst the Martha Stuart-brand linens, while the Earth Dragon Knight shook his head.

'_Give it a few more years, and we really might have a Dragon Officer haunting this closet…_'

Thatz rose from his crouch and continued on to the dining hall. He felt bad for Ruwalk, but there wasn't anything he could do for the traumatized man. Plus, he was hungry.

"Good mornin'!" he chirped as he entered the large, sunlit room that served as the dining hall.

"It's lunchtime, Thatz," stated Rune from the table. Seconds afterward, his eyes went wide as he quickly covered his mouth and dove under the table.

Next to him was Rath, who patted Rune's head in sympathy. Noticing Thatz's puzzled look, Rath mouthed "Tintlett" and "Lim" and jerked his head in the direction of the side doors. As if on cue, the two burst into the room eyes ablaze.

"Where'd he go, dammit! I know I heard my little Rune-kun in here just a second ago!" cursed Lim Kaana, glancing around the room.

"_You're_ little Rune-kun?" mocked Tintlett. "Sorry dear, but you're a few decades too late! Rune is _mine_!"

"What'd you say, bitch?"

"What did you just call me?"

Hiss. Rawr. Catfight.

Peering over at the dust cloud full of perfectly manicured fingers thrashing about and pulling freshly shampooed hair, Thatz understood. No wonder Rune hadn't scolded him about gambling on the castle grounds recently. Smiling, the thief sat down at the table, near Rath and the hidden Rune.

"Ladies, ladies, no need to fight!" interrupted Thatz, smirk in place.

They promptly ignored him.

"I think I know where Rune is…"

The two girls immediately froze in place, dropped their fistfuls of hair, and eyed him with predatory glares. Under the tablecloth Rune held his breath, unsure of which side Thatz would take. Rath merely watched the whole spectacle.

"In fact he was just here a moment ago talking to me," grinned the brunette.

In a flash Tintlett and Lim were towering over him, foaming at the mouth for information about the whereabouts of their snooky-wookums.

"Rune sounded like he was in such a hurry, too…" stated the Earth Dragon Knight as he fingered with the tablecloth, eyes downcast.

Below, the blonde broke into a sweat. Above, the elf-loving duo had about had it with Thatz's vague statements.

"Where. Is. Rune?" seethed Tintlett in a very unprincesslike fashion.

"……"

"Spit it out already, Dragon!" shrieked Lim.

"Why, the gardens of course," Thatz said with a smile on his lips. "Where else?"

That was all it took to send the pair off towards the gardens in search of their smoochy-woochy-boochy-koochy.

"Man," whistled Thatz. "They run like a gazelle on steroids."

Rath laughed a bit, then leaned towards the edge of the table.

"You're safe, Rune," he said.

"Uh, thanks," the elf smiled in half appreciation and half relief. He still wasn't used to all the attention the two girls all but threw upon him. "I think I'm starting to realize what Kai-stern has to go through."

"Hey, be grateful that they don't try to show their affection through mallets!" laughed Thatz.

His companions shuddered. Before they could continue their conversation, Cernozura brought out lunch, and Thatz's thoughts drifted to his empty stomach.

After a seven course lunch for Thatz (two course for everybody else), it was time to hit the road. The end of the month was coming, and the resident King of Cons hadn't had a decent scam since the 1st. Leaving his fellow Dragon Knights to talk about over-obsessive fangirls, the brunette headed outside for a breath of fresh air and inspiration for a new rip-off, er, enterprise.

He didn't want to run into Tintlett or Lim Kaana again, so the gardens were out. Then again, most of the castle was out since Alfeegi was still on the rampage. Thatz unconsciously rubbed the back of his head where he'd been viciously attacked by a stray mallet in the past, and headed into town.

On his way, he noticed a shabby looking scarecrow near a small patch of pumpkins. Despite the grisly look cast by its button eyes and threaded smile, a flock of crows were already pecking at the un-carved pumpkins.

"Wow, that's effective," the brunette said sarcastically.

A few more steps, and Thatz suddenly tripped over something furry.

Mrrreow!

Thatz barely had time to register in his mind that the beast was a snarling black cat, before tumbling down the stone stairs on the edge of the castle property.

"Ouch. That'll leave a mark," he winced.

"Are you all right?" asked a deep voice.

"Huh? Yeah, just peachy," Thatz replied, opening his eyes just a crack. That was all he needed. "Tetheus!"

The Dragon Knight immediately jolted up and nearly banged his head against the tree that had caught his unexpected fall. Tetheus eyed him warily. The brunette was up to something.

"So how're things goin' with the troops today!" asked Thatz, a bit too nervously.

"Fine…"

"Hey, that's great! Oh! Look at the time!" exclaimed the sweatdropping boy, pointing to the imaginary watch on his wrist. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta run! Seeya!"

And with that, the Dragon Knight of Earth high-tailed it out of there before the Black Dragon Officer could get a word in edgewise. Thatz knew all too well that getting caught breaking the rules by Tetheus could almost be almost as bad as being caught by Alfeegi.

Once in the marketplace, Thatz ducked into an alleyway to catch his breath. During the time that it took him to get his heart to resume beating, he watched the happy residents of Draqueen go about their daily schedule.

'_Let's see…kids walking their dog, vendor lady ripping off customers, couple arguing about money, drag queen hitting on a clown…boring.'_

His emerald eyes finally rested on a group of teens bobbing for apples. They seemed to be having a fun time and looked about Thatz's age. Well, Thatz's age if he wasn't ageless. Sighing, Thatz moved on. It was difficult to properly market fruit anyway.

Walking around a little more, and the thief found himself in the town square. Nothing interesting seemed to be happening there either, so Thatz headed over to the fountain. As soon as he was a few feet away, he felt something waist-high run into him.

"Oops, excuse m-" he had stopped mid-sentence once he got a good look at the kid.

The little ankle-biter was clothed in a large sheet and a monster mask. His hair was spiked up all over the place similar to Thatz's, but looked more deliberate on the child.

"Rawr! I'm a Demon!" he shouted as he ran off.

"Yeah, okay," replied the skeptical Dragon Knight. _'Kids just get weirder and weirder every day…'_ he thought to himself.

Annoyed that he spent his whole afternoon in the town and still didn't come up with any decent ideas for his October Scam, Thatz decided to return to the castle. And this time he kept a lookout for any stray black cats or Tetheuses. One trip to down the stairs and a near trip to the Black Dragon Officer's office was enough for him for the day.

Hearing a flutter of wings above him, the Dragon Knight looked up. A large group, colony, whatever of bats soared off in search of cockroaches and other tasty insects to devour. They looked a little strange against the setting sun background, but Thatz just shrugged his shoulders.

_'So the bats are out early. Big deal.'_

Using his fine-tuned thief's ears, Thatz tried to figure out where everyone was before he made the mistake of entering a room filled with rabid fangirls or raging secretaries. He could hear a crashing sound coming from an open window on the second floor. Either Alfeegi had finally caught Kai-stern or Rath had just broken another priceless artifact. An 'Oops' followed by a tiny red dragon swooping out of the window came after that. Rath.

The silent thief crept over to the back entrance of the Dragon Castle. He smiled as everything sounded peaceful, but frowned as the silence was shattered by a high-pitched squeal. And another. Rune had been caught.

"The gardens it is!" beamed Thatz as he scurried over to the trellis covered in ivy.

He sat on the crumbling old bench and put his hand under his chin. He sat and pondered. And pondered. And pondered. In fact, he pondered so hard that he nearly fell asleep.

"Urgh! Why is this so hard?" he asked himself. He was Thatz, the self-proclaimed King of Thieves! A simple thing like plotting a new con shouldn't be anywhere near this difficult for him. "There's gotta be something I can use out here for inspiration!"

As he sat there fuming, Thatz failed to notice the group of three maids behind him carrying a banner towards the castle. Not surprising that he didn't see the 'Happy Halloween' written in big, black letters across it either.

Another hour passed, and it started to get even darker. The sun had set long ago, but Thatz had refused to go back inside until he had come up with an idea. Watching a spider start to approach a small butterfly that had been ensnared in its web, Thatz _finally_ got an idea.

"That's it!" he hollered.

The brunette turned, leapt off the bench, and ran the 200 yards separating him from the castle doors in twelve seconds flat. He burst through the first doors he found and ran down the hallway. Not paying attention to where he was going, Thatz also collided with the first person he found. It _really_ wasn't Rune-chi's day.

"Ow! Thatz! Watch it!" complained the elf.

Ignoring his friend's cries protest, the Earth Dragon Knight grasped his shoulders and lifted him to his feet effortlessly. When he noticed that Rath was there as well, hugging the wall, the thief became even more excited.

"Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what!" Thatz cried as he hopped around like a two year old on a sugar high, which he essentially was, I suppose.

Rath and Rune exchanged a worried glance. Had Thatz eaten one of the Funny Mushrooms that grew in the royal gardens again?

"Uh, what?" Rune ventured.

"Did Alfeegi finally give you brain damage with that mallet of his?" asked Rath.

Rune elbowed the half-demon, but Thatz took no notice.

"I am going to build the biggest, baddest, scare-your-pants-off-and-send-you-runnin'-home-to-mamma Haunted House you've ever seen! And you guys are gonna help me!" exclaimed the enthusiastic conman.

"For Halloween?" Rune asked. "Sure, Rath forces me to go to one with him every year. There'll be less casualties if we make one ourselves."

"Heh, heh, yeah, those were some _especially_ weak demons last year, huh Rune?" laughed Rath maniacally.

"Let's go ask Alfeegi," said the Water Dragon Knight, casting his companion a worried gaze.

As they started off to Alfeegi's office, Thatz was left alone in the hallway.

"**It's Halloween?**"

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**:A/N:**

Neko: There….and it only took me 2 ½ hours to type…ah, ha, ha…

Thatz: I have never seen anyone inhale Gobstoppers so fast in my entire life.

Rune: Watch yourself in a mirror next time. You'll be amazed.

Rath: How come this was all about Thatz? You never give me a big part…

Neko: 'Cause the Haunted House had to be his idea, it's nothing personal, Rath. I still have big plans for you, my dearie… hehehehehe_…(rubs hands together and eyes glow)_

Rath: Uh, y'know what? Scratch that. It can all be about Thatz. No problem!

Thatz: Hey! You can't leave _me_ with the cat-freak! Where's Gil!

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dead Knight Walking**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Dragon Knights, Halloween, chupacabras and for better or worse, I don't own Thatz's wide assortment of old Valentines candy.

**Warnings**: Some OOCness

Neko: Like my other stories, a translation table's at the end for any non-English word or any strange phrase that needs explaining.

Garfakcy: That thing's annoying.

Neko: Shut up.

Garfakcy: Well it is.

Neko: Don't you have psychotic poof-heads to wait on?

---------**Response to Reviewers**--------

**xxDKGurlxx** – Haha. Here's my theory. _(holds up a pic of Rath and another of Heero Yuy) _

Rath: Oh, god…not another one of her "theories" again…

Neko: _(ignores)_ Suicidal bishounen obsessed with death and destruction meets…suicidal bishounen obsessed with death and destruction. They're practically twins personality-wise. They even talk the same to their love interests! _(deep, angsty voice)_ "I _will_ kill you!" lol

Rath: _(deathglares)_

Neko: I'm not pro-Cesia or anything, but I tolerate her. She could be worse. She could be Relena.

And yeah, I love _DK_'s cast! I don't really have a favorite character …too hard to choose! I really like the Knights in particular, though! Thanks for your support!

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**Chapter 2: Assembly Required **

With some coaxing, Alfeegi had agreed to let the boys use the old fishing shed by the royal pond as their Haunted House. Let's hear it for Lykouleon, Raseleane, and Rune!

"I still don't know, sire…" sighed the White Dragon Officer. "With Rath and Thatz working on a Halloween attraction, there's a lot that could go wrong and we might be held legally responsible."

"You worry too much," laughed the Dragon Lord. "Rath and Thatz aren't the only ones building it. Rune is a very dependable Dragon Knight, and I'm sure they'll get the girls to help out too."

"But…"

"Oh, Alfeegi!" Raseleane giggled. "Doesn't it sound like fun? I'm sure the public will love it! You could think of it as a way to improve our relations with our subjects."

Now that wasn't fair. Lady Raseleane was the one person that Alfeegi just could _not_ get mad at. Not only was she his superior, but she spread her soothing aura wherever she went. Damned Knights had planned that.

"…Fine," replied the defeated teal-haired secretary. He watched the three Dragon Knights from the second story window walking off towards the old shed. "But if something happens, don't say I didn't tell you so!"

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"I can't believe Alfeegi actually agreed to that," stated Rath.

"I know, my face hurts from all that fake reassuring smiling," Thatz grimaced as he cradled his sore jaw in his hand.

"In that case, you should be more grateful to Alfeegi instead of talking behind his back," Rune said sharply.

"Oh but I am," grinned the brunette. "Never has such a perfect opportunity for making millions come to me!"

"Opportunity for making _millions_?" repeated a disembodied voice.

The three Dragon Knights looked around in surprise.

"Who said that?" growled the Demonslayer.

They were met with a string of "Oh, ho, ho's" before a pink-haired figure slowly descended from the tree above them. Upside down.

"Gah!" exclaimed Thatz. "What the hell are you doing there, you fruit bat?"

"Enough of the stupid names, brainless pig, I wanna know more about this million dollar-making opportunity!" Kitchel demanded.

Before Thatz could point out that "brainless pig" would qualify as a "stupid name," Rath cut in and answered her question.

"We're making a Haunted House. Why do you care?"

"Silly boys, I take any chance I can to make a decent profit!"

"Oh, would you like to help then?" asked the Water Dragon Knight.

"RUNE!"

"I'd love to."

"No way, fruit bat!" Thatz shouted. "There is no freaking way I am letting _you_ in on my Haunted House project!"

"Why not?" inquired the elf, still not getting it.

"Because she'll try to steal every single penny from under our noses!" the ex-thief yelled knowingly. He'd been robbed, slapped, and outdone by the pink-haired bandit before, and wasn't about to fall into another one of her traps so easily.

"Aw, c'mon Thatz-chan! It's for a holiday, I'll behave!" she promised. "Pleeeease?"

Thatz grumbled something about "Thieves never taking off for the holidays" which Kitchel took as a "Yes."

"Is anyone else helping?" Kitchel asked. "Cesia? Tintlet? Lim?"

Rune paled as soon as he heard the last two names mentioned.

"No, we haven't really gotten a chance to ask anybody yet," replied Rath.

"I see. Do ya want me to ask them so you can get a head start on building?" Kitchel smiled. "I was just gonna go visit them anyway."

'_From the tree?'_ Thatz angrily thought. '_Now you just wanna get out of all the work.'_

"Sure. Thanks."

The four went their separate ways. The crafty cherry-head strolled off to see her friends in the castle, while the now grumpy conman, indifferent Demonslayer, and panicked elfin squeeze-toy headed towards the old fishing shed.

"So…" Rath started once he got a good look at the abandoned shed. "It might need a little work, huh?"

Thatz took one look at the loose floorboards, layer upon layer of dust, strange odors, and laughed.

"Are you kidding, this'll just add to its charm!"

"Shouldn't we at least get rid of the loose nails on the ground?" asked Rune.

Deciding multiple punctured foot infections would be bad for business, Thatz agreed. "Yeah, I guess the old canoe can go too…anything else, guys?"

"Why're you asking us, it was your idea," the Knight of Fire pointed out.

"Sure, but I haven't actually been actually been to a Haunted House thing before and you two have, right?" the brunette explained.

"Uh, actually I didn't really get a chance to look around," admitted Rune. "I was too busy chasing Rath around to make sure he didn't kill anyone."

"I was hunting the _demons_, Rune, not the people running it!" the obsessive hunter said in his defense.

Rune shook his head.

"Nearly ten years of going to these things and you still don't understand the concept of _costumes_…"

"Okaaaay," laughed the brunette nervously. "Let's just make a list of scary stuff, then."

On the small notepad he had, Thatz wrote _NO MONSTER DISGUISES_ across the top with several lines under it.

"What else is there…oh! Candy! We gotta have candy!"

"Why?" asked his companions.

"To draw customers!"

"Right. We make the place look creepier than Nadil's castle and then hand out candy. That's absolutely brilliant, Thatz." Rath said sarcastically.

"Why not? I still have some left over from Valentines Day!"

"Valentines Day was over eight months ago,"

"Your point?"

Apparently food poisoning wasn't a huge concern for the Dragon Knight of Earth. Rune wrote it down anyway, but in small letters. Thatz had given him the notepad once his hand got tired of adding exclamation marks after the _NO MONSTER DISGUISES_ line.

"Anything else?"

"Ghosts? I dunno…"

"Let's try a different approach," suggested the elf. "How did you think of making a Haunted House, Thatz?"

"I saw a butterfly almost get eaten by a spider," he replied proudly.

"A Demon spider!" interrupted an excited Rath.

"Too late, dude. I squished it good."

"That's relevant, how?" asked the skeptical Knight of Water

"I kill spiders to save butterflies!"

Ignoring the incredibly stupid reference to _Trigun_, Rune returned to writing down "scary stuff" until it was time to head back to the castle for dinner.

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The next day, the boys were joined by Cesia, Tintlet, and Lim. All three had agreed to help out, but only Cesia had bothered to look at the list of items to get so far. The other two elfin girls were…preoccupied.

"Oooh! Rune, I've never been to one of these before!" gushed Lim as she grabbed his arm. "It sounds so scary!"

Tintlet was having none of that, of course.

"You used to live in the Demon Lord's _castle_! I'm sure you'll be _fine_!" snarled the princess before reverting to her sweeter voice. "You'll show me around when we're all done, right Rune? I wouldn't want to get lost in here, I'd get so frightened!"

"Uh…" stuttered the sweatdropping Knight.

"Honey, you've been to Kainaldia. You can take it," smirked the smaller girl. "Besides, Rune already agreed to take _me_!"

"He did not!"

On the other side of the old fishing shed, the others were successfully ignoring the constant fighting between the two elfin chickies. Thatz was thinking up even more crazy things that they just _had_ to add to their little attraction while Rath was polishing his sword and humming a song about demons. Cesia was busy eyeing the ever-growing list wearily.

"Um, what if we can't get everything on the list, Thatz?" she asked.

"Oh, I can give it to Kitchel. She agreed to get us anything we couldn't find."

"Legally?"

"Uh…Rath! What are you doing? Let me help you with that!"

The wind witch frowned as he fled over to Rath.

'_Good thing Kitchel never gets caught…_' Cesia thought. "Ah, that reminds me! Kitchel had something she wanted added to the list."

"And what was that?"

"I can't really remember exactly…she said she had heard a rumor from one of the stable hands that some monster had been attacking livestock recently," the fortune teller said as she struggled to recall her conversation with the female bandit more clearly.

"Like a demon?" squealed Rath.

The others let out a collective shutter. Rath had managed to raise their freak out level 70 when his gleaming sword was easily outdone by his gleaming eyes. The creepy grin didn't help either.

"No!" the girl put in quickly. "Kitchel said it was an invasive species from the south. I think she called it a chupacabra or something."

"Oh…" said the disappointed Dragon Knight, his enthusiasm completely drained from his voice.

"Sounds neat," Thatz countered. "Why don't you let her know? If we capture it, I bet it would go perfect with all the other _decorations_."

He had to make sure he annunciated "decorations" whenever Rath was around. Every time the brunette had tried to ask his fellow Dragon Knights about their annual trip to a local Haunted House, Rath got that…_glint_ in his eye, and Rune started mumbling incoherently. Thatz eventually decided that he didn't want to know what happened after all.

"What have we got so far?" Cesia asked. That list looked kind of long. "Maybe we should do it in small parts?"

"Sure, just read a couple of 'em, and we'll call out if we want to get it," the lazy leader of the project said as he waved his hand dismissively.

"Okay," the wind witch cleared her throat. "…Mysterious Green Goo…?"

"That's me!" laughed Thatz. "I got that one!"

"Random bones?"

"I'll get those," Rath grinned.

"Before I go on, I'm going to remind you to get _fake_ bones, Rath," Cesia said knowingly. Rath would think nothing of running off the castle grounds, killing some yokai, and then tossing their bones all over a Haunted House that a bunch of children would walk through.

"Sure, sure…"

"Rubber chicken and creepy music?" Cesia continued.

"Me again!" beamed Thatz.

"Armored statue and fake worms?"

"I could ask Tetheus to borrow some armor," Rune offered. "And I think I saw some fake worms when we cleared the stuff out of here yesterday.

"Ghosts and cobwebs? Real original guys…"

"I could summon some Waterlights to act like will-o-wisps," Tintlet said happily with her hand raised daintily.

"That'd be great," her snooky-wookums said supportively.

"Yeah, well I can create cobwebs outta thin air!" Lim boasted. Not to be outdone, she spun several of her threads together to form a spider web in seconds.

"Perfect, Lim!" her tickle bear said in an equally supportive voice. Rune feared what would happen to him if either of the two felt left out and ignored.

"Okay, next is a spooky storm and signs written in blood red ink. Ewww," cringed Cesia. "I'll take care of the storm, but I'm not writing the signs."

"I'll do it!" Rath said…too cheerfully.

"Fine, but remember to use _ink_, Rath," Rune reminded him. "_Ink_."

"Thank you, Rune. And last is…a picture of Alfeegi?" Cesia said in a confused manner. She then burst into giggles.

"Yup, I got that one!" called out Thatz between laughs.

He earned a rock dropped on his head from the rule-abiding Water Dragon Knight. The others quickly covered up their laughter with coughs.

After a few other items had been read off and claimed, the girls decided to leave to go pick up their stuff. Well, two of them ran off thinking that it was some kind of contest, but Cesia walked off like a semi-normal person.

It was about then that Thatz had yet another great idea.

"Hey guys, it wouldn't be Halloween with out Tricks and Treats, right?"

"Sure," answered Rath. "Why?"

"Then we should pull a prank on somebody!"

"Absolutely not," huffed Rune.

"I knew you'd say that…" said Thatz glumly.

"Then you shouldn't have said anything," Rath responded in an even tone.

"You got permission to build a Haunted House from the Lord, assistance from a lot of the castle, and you want to repay them with some stupid joke?" the elf asked angrily.

"I never said we'd punk everybody _here_…" grinned the ex-thief.

"What do you mean?" Rath asked, taking interest.

"I was thinking that we could pull the Halloween prank to end _all_ Halloween pranks…or at least until next year."

"That makes no sense, Thatz," Rune pointed out.

"I was thinking that our Halloween prank would blow the damn pages off the Book of Halloween Pranks and put us down in history as the Master Pranksters," Thatz rambled on. When he saw that he had his companions' attention, he concluded. "I was thinking that we could go pull the ultimate Halloween prank…..on Nadil and his cronies."

The two other Dragon Knights' eyes went wide. That was their only similarity however.

"Yeah…" Rath said maniacally. "_Yeah_…on _Nadil_…and his castle…full of _demons_…hehehehe…"

"There is _no_ way…" stammered Rune. "We wouldn't ever be able to--"

"Ah, ah, ah…" tsk'd the ex-thief. "I'm sure no one here would mind us punking our greatest enemy. Even Alfeegi would be all for it!"

"Maybe, but-" the elf started to say before he was interrupted once more.

"I could ask Cesia to magic us there to an area with a lot of demons," Rath said eagerly. "Then no one there would even notice the energy pulse."

'_Good save,'_ thought Thatz sarcastically. _'I'm sure Rune will never catch onto_ that…'

"What if-"

"Hey, it's 2-1 so you have to help us!"

"Yeah! Majority rules!"

"Exactly."

Rune looked from one Dragon Knight to the other. There was no way that he could talk either of them out of it now. Nadil's castle was a dangerous place no matter how many people you brought with you. The elf figured that Rath and Thatz had a higher survival rate if he went with to keep them out of trouble. Sighing, Rune slowly nodded his head.

"Alright…"

"YES!" his friends cheered.

"Rath, you get Cesia to agree to casting the spell. Rune, you go grab anything you think that we'll need," the Dragon Knight of Earth ordered. "I'm gonna go take a nap!"

The other two sweatdropped at this.

"Operation Razzle Dazzle shall commence at midnight! Over and out!" proclaimed the brunette.

He then ran from the shed to prepare for the trick, eat some treats, and go down in history. Rath and Rune stood alone in the future Haunted House trying to figure out where the hell Thatz pulled "Razzle Dazzle" from in silence. However, they gave up once they remembered the Operation Fishfry incident. At least he didn't give them codenames. Rath still had a strange psychological reaction to burn any and all fishnets after that day.

"I need new friends…" mumbled Rune.

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**:A/N:**

Neko: Nyaaaaa… I didn't like that chappie as much…

Rath: Ha. Can you say "Filler?"

Thatz: Fillllllllller!

Neko: Yeah, yeah. Lesson learned. Typing at the asscrack of dawn is _not_ the best of times to be creative.

Thanks for reading!

--------**Translation Corner**-------

Neko: Here's the English translation of the foreign words I used. Let me know if anything's off.

**Chupacabra** (Sp.) "Goat-sucker" Hahaha…where to even begin? They're considered an urban legend of sorts, that attacks and drinks the blood of livestock. Its territory ranges from Puerto Rico, Mexico, and the U.S.

**Bishounen** (Jap.) "Pretty-boy"

**Yokai** (Jap.) "Demon"


	3. Chapter 3

**Dead Knight Walking**

By: oONekomataOo

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Dragon Knights, Halloween, chupacabras and for better or worse, I don't own Thatz's wide assortment of old Valentines candy.

**Warnings**: Some OOCness

Lykouleon: _(walks into a very gloomy room of other characters putting decorations away)_ Why does everyone look so down?

Rath: The Cat. She lives…

Neko: Surprise!

Lykouleon: Wow.

Thatz: Sucks, huh? Still eight months is a really long time…makes me wonder if Neko really is alive…

Rath: _(sacastically)_ No, Thatz, she's a vampire.

Thatz: She is?! Seriously?!

Rath: _(sighs, shakes head) _

Neko: Sorry to disappoint you, Thatz, but I'm still among the Living. See, I can prove it. I have a pulse. _(tries to find it on neck)_ Um, at least I think I do…hang on. (_still can't find it)_ C'mon, pulse, pulse, pulse…

Rath: I always knew there was something deeply wrong with that girl.

Rune: Besides mentally?

Neko: Ahhh!! I know I have a pulse somewhere! I've gotta have one! _(frantically searches neck)_ Damned pulse!!

Rune: _(warily watches Neko run around trying to find her pulse)_ Um, on with the fic?

---------**Response to Reviewers**--------

Neko: A special thanks to those who kept reminding me to get off my ass to update this thing! Let's hope it doesn't take me half the time it did last time to update this thing!

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**Chapter 3: Razzle Dazzle 'Em **

Cesia had just finished gathering the items on her list for the Haunted House when she noticed the trio of Dragon Knights walk over towards her.

Well, okay. Maybe 'walking' isn't really the word. One Knight was practically skipping and humming a song about disemboweling demons, another was contently strolling along with a suspicious knapsack filled with Dusis knows what, and the third was literally being dragged along by the overly happy one.

"Should I even ask?" questioned the wind witch.

"No, no you shouldn't," a gloomy Rune answered. "You should also turn down this guy's request."

Rune pointed to Rath at his side, who was now practically giggling. In one hand, the Fire Dragon Knight held his gigantic sword, recently polished and ready for some demon-slaying action. In the other, he had a firm grip on the Elf's wrist to keep him from changing his mind and getting Alfeegi to forbid Cesia from sending them to Kainaldia.

"Cesia, my favorite witch ever! Would you be a good little girl and magic us away to Kainaldia so I can stabbity all the demons there, please?" Rath beamed sugar-coatedly.

"And if I say no?" she replied, eying the insane youkai hunter in front of her.

"Aw, come on!" Thatz pleaded. "We wanted to pull a prank on Nadil and his little minions for Halloween!"

"Really?" Cesia asked skeptically. The way Rath had started dancing to a song only he could hear didn't really help the theif's case.

"Yeah, it's called Operation Razzle Dazzle and involves decapitation, sociopathic tactics, and many, many sparklers," explained the Earth Dragon Knight.

Now Cesia was unsure. While she usually didn't support Rath's obsessive killing habits or Thatz's crazy ideas, she was all for making Nadil, Shydeman, and the others look like complete dumbasses. Then again, she really didn't want to make an enemy of Rune while both his nutty fangirls where hovering about and she definitely didn't trust any "operation" that the brunette came up with on his own. Especially after "Operation Fishfry" caused Rath to burn all of her fishnet stockings. Those things were expensive, dammit!

"You're calling it…Operation Razzle Dazzle?"

"Yep!"

"WHY?!"

"Thought it sounded cute. So will you help us, Cesia?"

"_Pleeeeeease_, Cesia?!" begged Rath.

"_Nooooooo_, Cesia!" mimicked Rune.

"Well, this does kinda go against my better judgement…." Cesia started. "….But sure, I'll help you guys out."

There were two cheers and one very disappointed sigh.

"On one condition."

"Eh?"

"I want you to get something back for me," stated the witch. "That's your specialty, right?"

"I guess so," Thatz agreed. "What is it?"

"When I was kidnapped, Nadil stole my yellow fur scarf from me! Then that jerk has the gall to wear it around the castle like _he_ owns it!" Cesia fumed. "I want you to steal it back!"

"You want us to find your scarf?" the thief asked in disbelief.

"Wait, you mean that Yellow Fluffy Thing you bought in Emphaza?" asked Rath.

"You remember it?" smiled Cesia.

"Hard to forget something so hideous."

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Not really, but it would be nice if you--"

"—Of course we still want your help, Cesia!" Thatz interrupted, cupping his hand around the half-demon's mouth. "And we'll make sure we get your Yellow Fluffy Thing back, too!"

"Good," the long-haired girl smirked. "But I'm only leaving the portal open for two hours."

"You're only giving us two hours?!" Rath shouted, angry that he'd only get to kill half the youkai he had planned to in that timeslot.

"That's right. One hour to find my scarf and one hour to pull off your prank," Cesia stated. "Besides, that way it's a little fairer to Rune."

'_So don't send Lim and Tintlett on me_,' she added mentally, taking in his appreciative smile.

"Alright, fair's fair, let's go!" grinned Thatz.

"DEMON HUNTING TIME!!!"

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Not twenty minutes later, the Dragon Knights stood upon a hill overlooking Casa de Nadil y Homies.

"Hey, this was surprisingly easy to get to this time," the brunette noted.

"I would hope so," replied Rune. "Cesia sent us to a clearing so Nadil's castle would be in plain sight the moment we got here."

"Then how come we still got lost for a while?"

"Because your sense of directions is about as dependable as Rath's patience for demon hunting."

"Is not! Right, Rath?"

"……Rath?"

"Deeeeeeeeeeemons!!!" screamed Rath, who was currently halfway down the steep slope and only gaining speed.

"Rath! Get back here!" Rune yelled, taking off after him.

"So much for stealth…" sighed Thatz.

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Naturally, deep inside Nadil's impenetrable fortress, the Demon Lord and his minions were always prepared for and expecting any attacks the Dragon Tribe might make. The army had gone through countless hours of training and lied in wait for their hated foe's useless assaults. It was rumored that during times of celebration they feasted off of the bodies of any Dragon clansmen that had gotten even a footstep into their territory. The powerful military's complete confidence in their castle's defense was outmatched only by their superiors, Shydeman and Shyrendora. The twins never stopped anticipating an attack by the Dragon Tribe and were always ready to fight for their Lord.

"Got any 3's?"

"Go Fish."

Frowning, Shyrendora picked up a card from the 'Pond.'

"How can you two sit around and play card games all day?" snorted Nadil from his throne. "It's disgraceful."

"Got any Queen's?"

"Go Fish."

"Why do you guys keep ignoring me like that?" the Demon Lord whined. "I'm your boss, remember?!"

"Got any 6's?"

"Go Fish."

"Heeeey! I'm talking to you! Listen to me!"

"Got any 8's?"

"Go Fish."

This time Shydeman scowled and picked up the last card in the pile on the table. The pond was empty.

"Fine! Screw you guys, I'm gonna go take a nap!" exclaimed Nadil, like it was some important task that only he could complete. Sticking his tongue out at his oblivious generals, the Demon Lord stormed off to his bed chambers.

"……Got any 2's?"

"Go Fish."

"Dammit, Shyrendora! You have to have some 2's in your hand, I've already gone through the entire pond!" Shydeman gestured angrily to the area previously inhabited by a pile of cards. "You always cheat at this game!"

The female general looked at the cards in her hand. A 7, a King, a Jack, and five 2's. Considering 2 cards to be a sign of good luck, Shyrendora always liked to hold on to them until the end of the game. Don't ask me why. Crazy demons.

"I do not!" she growled. "You're just a sore loser!"

"Only because you _cheat_!" retorted her brother. "You, and your stupid habit of hoarding all the 2's!"

That had done it. Nobody, but possibly Nadil insulted her hobby of holding onto the 2's. Didn't Shydeman know that they brought good luck and were a natural defense against hobgoblins and cavities?! The sorceress sighed in frustration. Obviously her twin brother required more disciplining. Shyrendora's eyes flared open with a mind control spell in full effect.

"S-Suddenly I have the strangest urge to do your laundry and re-alphabetize your library…" Shydeman said with a dazed look on his face.

The man stood up and walked over to the door, but Shyrendora waved him back.

"Got any 2's?"

-------------------------------------------------

Likewise the Dragon Castle was ready for any attack made by their enemies be them Demon, Human, or Telemarketer. After the raid on their castle by Nadil's Army several months ago, Lykouleon had personally seen to it that the capital of Dusis would increase its defense as well as offense. Cesia had been given a shiny new crystal ball to help her foresee possible attacks. The Darnas were put on steroids. Tetheus had been granted permission to train the Dragon Fighters as he saw fit, and the term "Spartan" had become a household term.

All in all, Draqueen had become practically Demon-proof and Lykouleon had been given more power than most military dictators.

"I'm boooooored," pouted the Dragon Lord over a stack of paperwork. "Can I go now?"

"Oh, no you don't," scolded the White Dragon Officer. "It took me _forever_ to track you down once today and you're not leaving until you're done with that stack of documents. Now finish the rest of your chocolate milk like a good boy or I'll be very upset."

"Yes, 'Feegi." Lykouleon sniffled and slurped the rest of his chocolaty drink down with a blue Krazy-Straw.

The question of who was really in charge still went unanswered.

"Lord Lykouleon! Lord Lykouleon!" Ruwalk shouted as he burst through the elegant wooden doors. "We have a problem!"

"Rath broke another sword?" growled Alfeegi.

"You've been selected to represent Draqueen in the national beauty contest?" Lykouleon asked. "Congratulations, I know it's always been your dream, Ruwalk…"

"Er…no," the brunette shook his head. "Kai-Stern says we're under attack!"

"Oh, really?" a skeptical 'Feegi said with raised eyebrows. "And what does Tetheus have to say about that?"

"Um…I haven't asked him yet."

"And why isn't Kai-Stern telling us this himself?"

"Because he's too busy running around the wine cellar trying to save all the rum or something."

"YOU IDIOT!" Alfeegi raged. "Now we have to waste more time stopping that drunken fool before he drinks twice his weight in alcohol!"

"Oh, boy! A mystery!" the Dragon Lord cried happily, racing down the hall before either secretary could get a word in edgewise. "Let's go, Scooby-doo and Jesus!"

"You didn't...…_put_ anything in his chocolate milk did you?"

Alfeegi whacked him on the head.

-------------------------------------------------

Because it seems to be a reoccurring theme in this chapter, Kitchel was wandering around the courtyard bored out of her freaking skull. Having already found most of the items on her list, the pink-haired thief decided she had earned a break. There was still plenty of time before Halloween anyway.

"Well, this is exciting…" she sighed, slumping down unto a bench. Her little tour had found her somewhere between the western entrance to the castle and the stables. "Tetheus is out training the Dragon Fighters, the other secretaries are either hiding from ol' Periwinkle or pretending to be doing work, and the boys are out running errands for the haunted house…"

"Hey, Kitchel!" called a voice from above her.

"Rigleys! Hey, what's up?"

"Not much, I was helping Lady Tintlett with her hair when one of the maids passing by said the 'R' Word and caused her to go running off somewhere," the tiny Faerie shrugged.

"What's the 'R' Word?"

Rigleys whispered something into her ear.

"Rune?"

"RUUUUUUUUUUUNE!!!!!" roared Tintlet and Lim Kaana, tearing down everything blocking their path in their race to get over to the unfortunate speaker of the 'R' Word.

The Royal Landscaper would later see the expensive marble statues reduced to rubble alongside several uprooted trees and have a seizure.

"YOU'VE SEEN RUNE?! WHERE IS RUNE?!" demanded the two in unison.

"I-I don't know!" Kitchel answered quickly. "I was just talking to Rigley's and……Rigleys?"

The Faerie had vanished.

"Get the hell back here, you little bastard!" the thief shouted angrily.

"Kitchel, my dear, dear friend, have you seen my beloved Rune lately?" the Faerie Princess asked her in a kind and caring voice.

"N-No I haven't," replied the pink-haired girl, trying to ignore the insane gleam reflected in Tintlett's eyes.

"Ha, ha, that's right! You don't gotta tell that bitch anything!" Lim cheered, then pulled Kitchel down to her own level. "But you have seen Rune, right? You can tell me."

"How _dare_ you use such rude language when addressing _me_!" Tintlett yelled to Lim.

"Still can't handle the truth?" the reformed Faerie sneered.

"I can handle _you_!"

And yet another fight broke out between the Elfin girls over the current Elfin squeeze-toy. Not that Kitchel stuck around long enough to watch.

"Those two are so fricking _scary_ sometimes!" she grumbled aloud.

"Hurry, this way!" instructed a voice from above.

"Rigley's you coward! _Now_ you show your face?" complained the thief, but followed his advice and headed towards the stables. "I can't believe you left me there with---AHHHHH!!!"

Inside the Darnas stable was a large beast the size of a man, covered with mangy white fur and two horns sticking out of its forehead. In its hoofed hand was a pitchfork covered in blood.

"Shovel Attack!" shrieked the girl, hurtling the nearest piece of farm equipment at the monster's head.

"Hmm? Is someone ther—ACK!" the creature said as it tumbled to the floor from Kitchel's direct hit.

Kitchel and Rigley's looked at the monster and then each other in confusion.

"Did that thing just…"

"…Talk?"

"Ow, ow, ow!" complained the beast on the floor. "You have quite an arm, little miss!"

"You're a Human?!" Kitchel asked in disbelief.

"Of course, I am!" the injured monster said rather cheerily, taking his mask off to reveal a semi-normal looking middle-aged man. "Although I guess I can see why this costume gave you a start. I'm the new stable hand!"

"The new stable hand? I thought you were a Demon or something!"

"Yeah!" Rigleys chimed in.

"Oho, ho, ho! You children are quite amusing!" the man laughed. "My name is Moca Coleman. You might remember me from other Neko crackfic's such as—"

"No one cares!" Kitchel yelled, kicking his already cracked cranium. "Why are you wearing your Halloween costume to work, anyway?"

"Oh, this isn't a Halloween costume," blinked Moca. "This is my traditional hunting uniform."

"What are you trying to catch dressed up like _that_?"

"El Chupacabra…" Moca responded in a serious tone.

"That's nice. Come on, Rigleys," Kitchel said to her Faerie companion.

"W-Wait! Aren't you even going to listen to my story?!" Moca exclaimed, blocking their exit.

"No way, dude. Now move."

"But we promised each other under the setting sun to catch the chupacabra or die together trying!

"I don't recall promising you any of that!"

"But I could really use the help of such a strong human and Faerie!"

"I don't care! I'm busy!" growled the pink-haired thief, storming past the poorly disguised man.

"But then I won't have anyone to split the million dollar reward with…" Moca sighed sadly.

Kitchel twitched.

"So let's go find this chupa-thing already, Mocha! We can't let any of the other hunters beat us to it!"

"Here we go again…" Rigley's sweatdropped at his friend's sudden change of heart.

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As for our three favorite Knights…

"It's Demon-Hunting-Killing-Time! Demon-Hunting-Killing-Time! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Yeah, there ya, go! There ya, go! There ya, go! There ya, go!" Rath sang/screamed roughly to the tune of Peanut-Butter Jelly Time.

Needless to say, Rath was entertaining himself with Nadil's first line of defense. Or at least he was ten minutes ago. By that point, Rath was slaughtering the sixth line of defense. As strategically thought out as Nadil's army's positions were, none of it seemed to matter if every demon was killed off before they could warn the others.

"Do the Demon-Hunting-Killing! Demon-Hunting-Killing! Demon-Hunting-Killing with a sawed off bat!"

"Has it been two hours, yet?" Rune groaned.

"Cheer up, Runey!" the Dragon Knight of Earth patted his back. "The fun's just getting started!"

"I believe repeatedly stabbing you in the head shall convey my emotions accurately," the Elf snarled, summoning his sword.

"Whoa, whoa! Save it for the demons, buddy!" Thatz sweatdropped. "Or at least the half-dead ones. I don't think Rath would appreciate us killing any of his 'prey.'"

"Well let's not fall behind, then," sighed the Water Dragon Knight. "Who knows what kind of trouble he'll get into by himself…"

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**:A/N:**

Neko: I've done it!!

Rath: What? Finished another long overdue torture session for us?

Neko: No! I found my pulse! _(fingers to wrist)_ It's so much easier to find on my wrist!

Rath: _(sweatdrops)_

Neko: Thanks for reading!

--------**Translation Corner**-------

Here's the English translation of the foreign words I used. Let me know if anything's off.

**Youkai **(Jap.) "Demon"

**Chupacabra** (Sp.) "Goat-sucker" Hahaha…where to even begin? They're considered an urban legend of sorts, that attacks and drinks the blood of livestock. Its territory ranges from Puerto Rico, Mexico, and the U.S.

**Moca Coleman** (Various) "Moca" is the name of the village in Puerto Rico that first reported chupacabras and "Coleman" is a town in Texas where one was apparently captured. This guy appears from time to time in crackfics I write, although none of the others are up on yet.


End file.
